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Short Journal Entry 8 10:23 Well, not diagnosed, but i think everybody is to some extent.
10:25 Well same here. How bad does yours get?
10:26 Eh, im not entirely sure. Ive never gagged it to anyone else or anything. But it effects me
10:29 You've got better control then i do then. You know one of my biggest fears is losing control of myself. I hate my depression because i cant control it to well. Like now. I can feel it bubbling over and i might break down at any moment
10:30 Why does it seem to happen at night?
10:31 Probably because its been building up all day. And at night im alone. I have no reason to wear a mask when no ones around
10:31 I know what
Short Journal Entry 7Traveling along the shores of Lake Michigan, I feel like a giant in a faery's garden. The ice that drips and hangs over a turbulent shore from a winter now dying. As I walk among the world of mortals peering into those chambers of crystal ice, I imagine the faeries living their unseen to the human eye. They walk and glide among the ice hallways traveling between homes of others of their kind. Mining small tidbits for some unknown purpose. I can hear their wings as I peer into the nearest cavern being sure not to cast my shadow upon them. I hear them speaking in an unknown tongue that matches the crystal in which they reside. Movement all arou
Short Journal Entry 6The eyes. I've always avoided them. Too much can be read from them and too much can be seen that you don't want to be seen. They're portals into the inner mind, the inner desire. I've always avoided them. Especially those of the opposite sex and those of my friends. I don't want to delve into their minds. I don't want to see how they see me. I'd rather them have that secret.
But temptation and curiosity are my weaknesses. I couldn't avoid it. I felt as if he wanted me to look at him instead of glancing at him for a while and then looking away to focus on some other object while I lose myself in my thoughts and images and dreams and stories.
Short Journal Entry 5Blinding sun. Refractions creating tiny crystals on the ground. Glowing luminescently into sight. Mundane and lifeless. Slowly creeping, the nymph travels over crystal ice adoring that unseen. Dark locks of hair cascading down her back bouncing with each step against the green gown covering her nimble body. With every step the crystals disappear and green appears. Gracefully twirling, spinning, jumping, the beauty of nature dances to music unheard. Eyes closed and a smile gleaming on her lips as she traverses the land of ice and snow. In her wake, flowers bloom and scents are born of lilies and lilacs, marigolds and roses. Neither wild flower
Short Journal Entry 4The words of the page slip into my mind but their meanings blur. The strong, aromatic air wafting through nostrils and burning my throat prevent the solid interpretation of the plethora of symbols. This aroma biting my nose and throat is nothing but alluring. The fading of its presence makes my body scream in agonizing discomfort. Searching for the subtle indication of its divine existence, it floats on the slight breeze of movement casting me into its terrorizing clutches. Head spinning with desire for it to be closer; for the burn to intensify in my masochistic want; to covet it, to touch something that cannot be reached. The lexis spins th
Short Journal Entry 3Song Lyrics: [He is We] Blame It On the Rain
"You go me caught,
in all this mess,
We can blame it on the rain.
My pain is knowing
I can't have you
I can't have you.
Tell me does she look at you the way I do
Try to understand the things you say
and the way you move?
Does she get the same big rush
when you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?"
. . .
"If I could have but just one kiss,
this whole room would be glowing.
We'd be glowing"
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More